"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way !"


"An invisible car came out of nowhere,  struck my car and vanished !"

"In an attempt to kill a fly,  I drove into a telephone pole !"

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought !"

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke !"

"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.  When I reached a Junction a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I didn't see the other car !"

 "Coming home I drove into the wrong house and hit  a tree I haven't got !"


"As I approached a Junction a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before !"

"The telephone pole was approaching.  I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end !"

"I bumped into a lamp-post which was obscured by human beings !"

 

 

"I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual way,  when I was struck by the other car in the same place I'd been struck several times before !"


　"The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle !"


"No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert !"


"My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle !"


"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident !"


"I pulled away from the side of the road,  glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment !"


"The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front,  one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind !"


"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge.  This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard !"

"Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus.  The bus was 5 minutes early !"


"I had been learning to drive with power steering.  I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way !"


"The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week !"


"I saw a slow moving,  sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car !"


"I was sure the old bloke would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him !"


"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian !"

"I knocked over a man  . . .  he admitted it was his fault 'cos he'd been knocked down before !"


"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again !"

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car !"


"The pedestrian ran for the pavement,  but I got him !"

"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him !"


"The guy was all over the road.  I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him !"

"The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside.  He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing !"


"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face  . . .  I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact !"

 
 

 

"When I realised that I could not avoid a collision I hit the accelerator and crashed into the other car !"

"I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle.  The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries !"


"I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel !"

"I thought my window was down,  but I found it was up when I put my head through it !"


"I told the police that I was not injured,  but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull !"

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road.  I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows !"

"I was driving along the motorway when the police pulled me over onto the hard shoulder. Unfortunately I was in the middle lane and there was another car in the way !"

 

"The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal !"

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention !"

"The first car stopped suddenly,  the second car hit the first car and a haggis flew into the back of the second car !"

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight !"

　

"I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control !"


"I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof !"


"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk !"


"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood.  I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket !"


Q: Do you engage in motorcycling,  hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature ?

A: "I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan !"


The claimant had collided with a cow.  The questions and answers on the claim form were -

Q: What warning was given by you ?

A: Horn.

Q: What warning was given by the other party ?

A: Moo.


Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident ?

A: "Travelled by bus ?"

 

 

Do YOU know of any that I've missed off ??? 

( I do still have LOADS MORE - yet to include )

BUT if YOU have any Ideas OR Content for my site . . .  

 

 

 

 

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